Where is the balance?

It all started when I went to Zambia. I was mesmerized by the people - how little they had and how big their faith was compared to mine. It started me thinking. It forced me to look at my own life and ask the hard questions about my faith and my love for God. I am afraid God has spoken to me like he spoke to Belshazzar in the book of Daniel, "You have been weighed on the scales and found wanting". (NIV)

DL Moody said something that has rocked my life for years. Actually, it was something Harry Varley said to him that spurred on this thought. Anyway, Moody said, "The world has yet to see what God can do with a man fully consecrated to him. By God’s help, I aim to be that man." I don't do well memorizing quotes but I had no problem remembering that one! It has been so profound and convicting in my life that, at times, it also drives me crazy. So what do I do with it? God must be nudging me toward something if it keeps popping up in my mind.

There was another quote that has had pretty much the same effect on my life. It is a quote by Bob Pierce, the founder of World Vision. Appalled by the suffering he saw in his travels overseas he wrote on the inside of his Bible, "Let my heart be broken by the things that break the heart of God." I wrote this down as being my New Years resolution (if it can be defined as a resolution) and am finding that fulfilling this resolution is very difficult. I am having a hard time finding the balance between embracing the things that break the heart of God and dealing with people who don't have this same passion. I guess, those are the people that break the heart of God.

• How do I deal with my willingness to abandon everything for Jesus and, yet, embrace the responsibility of caring for my family, my friends, and His church?
• How do I live a life of passion for the poor and needy when I am surrounded by the apathy of believers?
• How do I have patience for people who don't share my same desires?
• How do I raise children who love God so much that they would be willing to bypass on the luxuries their friends have to help someone who struggles to meet just their needs?
• How do I inject the passion of DL Moody and Bob Pierce into an American Church that fights over the color of their carpet and whether they sing too many or not enough hymns?
• How do I do this without becoming misunderstood or getting people mad?

The answers (or the lack thereof) paralyze me. Why is that? Shouldn't it burn inside of me so hot that I am misunderstood? Shouldn't my passion (I am checking to make sure it is God's passion) get people mad? Especially if it causes them incredible discomfort and conflict in their own hearts? I want to have a faith that is desperate. I want to have a life that is consecrated. I want to have a heart that breaks when God's heart breaks. Is there a balance? I don't know if you can be these things and use the term balance. Maybe the church needs some "imbalanced" people because I don't know if the balanced ones have done anything of significance lately!

Well, enough looking at the man in the mirror. What about you?